Halloween outfits. Come on, ladies! If a guy doesn’t think you’re cute every other day of the year, what makes you think he will like you on Trick-or-Treat night? Just because you look like an unprofessional nurse, desperate (and I mean… DESPERATE) Girl Scout, or a “BAAAAD” witch. Like ew? Not getting any candy from me. How about putting on a REAL mask like the rest of us “do-gooders” that exemplify good, clean, wholesome fun on a highly decorated holiday?
Call me old fashioned, but whatever happened to the homemade costumes? Like the bed sheet ghost with the cut out eyes or the papier-mâché/cardboard box costumes? Get with it people! Seriously. Nobody gets excited enough about Halloween anymore to make their child’s costume. They just go out to the nearest K-Mart… or in you ladies’ case… the nearest Victoria Secret or lingerie store.
It’s just not classy. Scout is a prime example of how to look classy on Halloween. Scout from “To Kill a Mockingbird” by Harper Lee went to her Halloween pageant at school dressed as a “Canned Ham.” It doesn’t get any more innocent than that!
All Hallows’ Eve should be a fun holiday full of parties, bobbing for apples, jack-o’-lantern carving, pumpkin patches, horror films, bonfires, hayrack rides, and haunted houses. Not girls in bikinis and swimsuits trying to show their Halloween “goodies!” Think “Day of the Dead,” girls… not “Day of the Desperates”…
So when picking out your costume this year, go for innovative! I’m not saying your little petite frame and delicate face needs to be put in a Chucky mask! But try something original. For example: a pirate (especially if your name is Jack or Morgan), Raggedy Ann (if your name is Ann), maybe Harry Potter (if your name is Harry).
**ATTENTION FELLOW LADIES: Take note!
My uncle went as a Popcorn boy. He took a cardboard box and pinstriped it with white and red duct tape. On the lids and his red ball cap he glued yellowish-white caulking to represent the overflowing popcorn. The red, leather, skinny pants and stark white pumas really were the finishing touches though! He kicked out the bottom of the box and slipped it over his body! With a stencil he wrote “Fresh Popcorn!” Needless to say, he won the competition for the best costume at the party as a street vender selling popcorn. You all could learn something from him. Job well done, Eric.
As for you promiscuous Trick-or-Treaters… KEEP TRYING! The sanity of the clowns, bumblebees, and hippies depend on it! J (425)
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