What I hate about my feet? Everything! Usually I’m not the type to complain about what God has given me, but He really messed up on my feet. He must have, like everything else, had a plan for them. Maybe I was destined to become a foot model for a shoe brand catering to extra-large women with even bigger feet.
Like I said. My feet! They are huge. They are size 11.5 men’s and size 13 women’s! Very long. And I am told on a regular basis that they are ugly due to the fact that they look like they belong to a raccoon. Ouch. My toes aren’t that bad… are they? My “tooties” (as my dad used to call them when I was little) are also very wide. I have a “Tailor’s bunion” or “Bunionette” which is basically a skinny heel with an extremely wide metatarsal bone set (or inflammation of the fifth metatarsal bone). Just call me duck foot. Which brings me to how flat they are! Wow! I have no bridge at all. Let’s just say I make the Gateway Arch disappointed.
With all of this being said, I have a heck of a time finding shoes to fit properly! Let’s face it… as much as I would like to, I can’t wear basketball shoes my whole life. What about my wedding or prom? This is tricky. The shoes that are totally adorable are women’s shoes and only come in sizes six through ten. Or they are men’s shoes, but still aren’t wide enough. Here comes the “moolah.” Specialty shoes cost extra wads of cash to buy which is annoying because you can never just walk into a store and buy a cute pair of heels on sale. Clearance racks suck!
When I get older, I am definitely coming up with that extra-long, extra-wide shoe brand. Female volleyball and basketball players will love me! I can make a fortune. I can see it now: “Pumps with Bumps” (referring to my bunions…yuck!) And no… I will not offer size seven! #getlost J (343)
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